There have been a myriad of blog posts and articles written about abortion, sex, women’s health, and gay rights…and here’s another. Recently the Scary Mommy blog did a wonderful bit about how and why a person can be personally pro-life but politically pro choice. You can read the full post here.
She writes in her summation: “And if you really want to lower abortion rates, put your weight behind legislation that is most likely to reduce unwanted pregnancy. Start advocating for affordable, accessible birth control, comprehensive sex education, and good health care for everyone. If the goal is to reduce abortion rates — which I assume is the goal of anyone who calls themselves pro-life — that’s the only proven way to do so.”
However, there’s a problem she and many others have not recognized and we need to. She’s right in both concept and fact, but while I’m sure that reducing abortion rates is the goal for some pro-lifers, sadly it’s not the goal for all of them. The reason they refuse this rational way of thinking is because they aren’t just anti-choice, they are anti-woman and they are anti-sex, so they won’t support contraceptives and sex ed. They believe sex is only for procreation so that’s where rational people hit a wall with the extreme religious right wing. But that isn’t the only wall and their unrealistic views of human behavior and the human condition are why we keep having these battles.
Clearly, I am pro choice. And for many of the same logical reasons that the Scary Mommy blogger and others have expressed. But also, I just simply have a problem with forcing any woman to give birth against her will. Forcing a woman to have an abortion like they have done in China is also just as wrong. I just can’t fathom not allowing a person to make their own choices about their body. But my biggest beef is forcing rape victims to have their rapist’s baby and if the religious right wing had their way, that would be happening regularly. That’s cruel and unusual punishment, and totally heartless, in my opinion. It’s immoral and evil in my mind and void of any compassion. It’s not a damn gift. Especially in cases of incest/rape when it’s a young girl when she could actually die from giving birth, and the baby too. Why do these people think it’s ok to risk the life of a child like that? And why is it ok to mentally and emotionally torture someone like that? These people give zero fucks about the MENTAL health of victims of this type of abuse and violent crime. If a woman CHOOSES to carry the baby term, fine, more power to her, but not all women have the strength and mental, emotional, or psychological capacity to go through that and still be ok. Are you willing to pay for therapy for her for the rest of her life? Then SHUT UP. Forcing a rape victim to give birth is just another violation and re-victimization of someone who has already been traumatized enough. In my eyes, you are no better than the rapist if you think this is ok. You disgust me. It’s also just a gross invasion of her privacy. It just comes down to the fact that it’s nobody’s business and not everyone believes abortion is wrong anyway – it’s a belief based on religion and nobody should have the right to force their religious rules on the general public. We are supposed to have a wall between church and state, remember? People whose religions beliefs support abortion as an option, or those who are not religous at all should not be forced to follow your religious rules. If you are against abortion, then don’t have one, but to make it illegal for all, is contradictory to the concept of American freedom and ethically wrong. Extreme right wingers are blind to all this and I honestly don’t think they genuinely care about the women in these situations – their actions prove it. They talk a big game but are they doing anything to support women in these situations? Nope. Not a damn thing. Allowing the government or anyone to control what a woman does with her body is a drastic violation of privacy and disrespect for their humanity. There are also a plethora of medical reasons for abortion and here again, the religious right wing fails miserably in showing compassion on this issue. Unless you are a doctor, you should have ZERO say on this. Medical abortion decisions should be between a woman and her doctor and if married, the husband too. Most of the abortions that happen for medical reasons are done on women who actually wanted the pregnancy and having to end the pregnancy to save their life is a heart-wrenching decision that often leaves them deeply depressed as they mourn the loss of their unborn child. But they made that choice so they could live – often in these cases they already have other children who need them. How dare the right wing try to make these women feel guilty or shame them or punish them? How dare they stick their noses where it doesn’t belong, into someone’s private and painful experience? They are heartless and their point of view on this offends me to my core.
Now back to the right wing being anti-sex. Yes. Yes they are (even though most of them are also hypocrites as you can see from so many notable right wing men who get caught having affairs). So this anti-sex view is why they don’t support the very rational idea of providing birth control and sexual education. If they really wanted to reduce abortion, they would support that, but they don’t. Why? Because sex. That naughty thing. They are so repressed that they have a hard time embracing the idea that sex between two consenting adults can be a good thing and there are actual health benefits to having a safe, active, and healthy sex life. For the extreme religious, they believe sex is only ok if you are married and even then, only to procreate – no other reason. Think about that. They don’t even support sex for fun or love within Marriage so for us to ask them to accept sex for fun or love between unmarried people is so shocking to them, they go into convulsions. This is the battle we face. They have been so brainwashed by their religion that they feel they have the right to force their religious rules on everyone else. I have no beef with people who have sincere faith and live by their own rules guided by that faith, but the minute you try to force it on me, it’s fight time. There’s a saying that goes, “Religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one. It’s fine to be proud of it. But don’t wave it around in public, don’t talk about it with my kids, or shove it down my throat.” It’s the same reason they are against gay marriage and refuse to believe that LGBTQ are born with their attractions and the idea of two people of the same gender having sex makes their heads explode. The Irony of all this is that while they like to call the rest of us perverts, they are the real perverts. They are absolutely OBSESSED with sex. They can’t stop thinking about it and talking about it to try to make laws to stop it from happening. They are obsessed with who is having sex with whom and how they are having sex. Who the hell is constantly thinking about what others are doing in the privacy of their own bedrooms? I certainly don’t do that… I only worry about what I’m doing (or not doing) in my bedroom. It’s none of my damn business what others do. You want to be celibate? ok. You want to fuck the football team? Ok. It’s none of my business and I actually don’t want to know. The way I see it, only a pervert would be obsessing about other people’s sex lives the way these conservatives do. We have much more important problems in this country but they want to spend time and money to get people to stop fucking (unless you are a white conservative, then they want you to get married and procreate as much as possible). Think about that. That’s what they want. They think they can make human beings go against NATURE and stop having sex. It’s so laughable and ridiculous and yet also so sad and pathetically demented. I have news for you Conservatives – you can’t make people stop having sex. It’s natural. We are born with this desire. We aren’t going to stop. You can’t make us. Just accept it and if you want to live your celibate life or only have sex to procreate, great…. good for you…..it’s none of my business and I would never interfere in your personal choices. See how that works? But to try to force your lifestyle on the rest of us is Un-American, unethical, and immoral. Yup, I said it – my point of view is that it’s immoral to force your own sexual lifestyle (or lack thereof) on others. Nobody is trying to force you to have sex outside marriage or force you to be gay. We just want you to leave others alone. America is supposed to be about FREEDOM. When you try to force others to do what you want in regards to personal decisions about their own bodies, that’s the opposite of freedom. That and, well, why the hell are you all just so damn nosy?
This conservative view on sex and abortion is also extremely patriarchal and mysoginistic. Notice how they only focus on the women and never mention the men? Are these women getting pregnant by themselves? Are all these pregnancies the result of immaculate conceptions? Are you freaking out because you think we are killing millions of little baby Jesuses? HELLOOOOO…. women get pregnant from having sex with…MEN! Shocking, I know – I mean you conservatives weren’t given proper sex ed so this might be news to you, but yea…. Men are responsible for getting women pregnant. And yet, conservatives only want to punish women and control women. This also has racist overtones as well if you are paying attention. Hard right Conservatives love to bitch and complain about poor women and women of color having “too many babies” but want to prevent them from accessing birth control, healthcare, or abortion – which puts them between a rock and a hard place. White Conservative Extreme Christians continue to set up WOC, and the poor, to fail. The women hurt most by conservative laws are WOC and the poor. But again, it also comes down to an archaic out dated view of women and sex. A man having a sex drive is just being a man, but a woman having a sex drive is a slut. Even in 2017, you right wingers are still promoting this double standard sexist bullshit. Just stop. We aren’t going to allow you to get away with it. We will fight this nonsense until the day we die. Newsflash: Sex feels good for both men and women and we aren’t going to stop. Expecting us to is an unrealistic expectation. Deal with it.
And finally, this bigotry they have against the LGBTQ community is the ultimate example of how their religious cult brainwashing makes them sexually repressed and the theory that some have presented about homophobes just being self-hating closeted homosexuals is probably true in some cases. This idea that you can “pray away the gay” or get shock therapy to get rid your desires (which has been debunked and proven to be harmful) is some twisted way for them to relieve their guilt or feed their denial. They refuse to accept that people are born with our sexuality. I believe this firmly. It’s logical. Why would someone choose to be shunned by society? They wouldn’t. But also this – I’m straight and always have been. I was born this way. How do I know? Well…. if it’s a choice, then I would have had some moment in time where I thought “Hmmmm…..who do I want to have sex with? Men or women? ok I choose men.” Guess what – that never happened. It was never a question. I love women but I’m not sexually attracted to them. I’m attracted men. Sexual attraction is not something you can control either…it’s an involuntary feeling and response. And it’s selective…. just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I am attracted to ALL men. I am only attracted to some. I can’t control the attraction. I can’t force myself to feel sexual attraction if it’s just not there. Also, sexual attraction is both emotional and physical. When we are attracted to someone, our bodies react….whether we want them to or not. (Warning: Graphic description coming) Sorry to be graphic but we really do need to address this and be realistic about it. Our bodies involuntarily react when we are “turned on” and aroused. A man gets an erection and a woman’s body’s response involves engorged sexual tissues such as nipples, vulva, clitoris, vaginal walls and vaginal lubrication. So having said that, think about this. If being gay/bi/pan/etc was a choice, then all these conservatives would have to admit that at some point in their life, they felt attracted to the same gender. The men got an erection thinking about other men and the women got lubricated thinking about other women, but they made some conscious effort to ignore it and chose to be straight instead? Is that what you are saying? Of course they would never admit that but that’s what we are talking about. So if you HAVE had those feelings then guess what – you aren’t straight. You are either gay, bi, or pan. Trying to force yourself to be straight is sick and self-abusive. Don’t even try to argue this – I’m not buying. Sexuality is not a choice. I didn’t choose to be straight. I just am. Honestly, there have been times I wishrd I weren’t…but guess what – I can’t choose to be Lesbian even when I’ve wanted to be (Men can really drive me nuts sometimes). If you feel the same….that you couldn’t suddenly choose to be gay, then why the HELL do you think you can force someone into being straight? It makes no sense.
So what we have is a battle between the logical, reasonable, realistic and sane view that:
1. Sex between consenting adults is ok
2. Abortion should be safe and legal and should be between a woman and her doctor
3. Sexuality is born into us and natural. LGBTQ folks deserve to be equal with straight people with the same legal rights, protection, and privileges.
Versus the illogical, unreasonable, unrealistic and insane vew that:
1. Sex is only ok in marriage and only for procreation
2. Abortion should be illegal and only women should be punished for it
2. Being LGBTQ is a choice and everyone should be forced into being straight
Well folks…. moderates and liberals have work to do in trying to educate these stubborn extremists or find a way to fight against their narrow and bigoted intentions. We can’t make them accept our beliefs but we can fight like hell against allowing them to force their beliefs on the public at large. How do we get them to understand that the freedom of religion includes ALL religions as well as well as the non-religious? How do we get them to understand that it’s actually in their best interest to let go of these battles of the sex because laws should be secular in order to protect their own religious beliefs? Conservatives – why don’t you understand this? How do you not see that without the separation of Church and state, we would have a theocracy instead of a democracy and maybe that theocracy will be led by someone who doesn’t share your religion. They could then force their religious rules on YOU. Not so great when the shoe is on the other foot, eh? WAKE UP!!!!
ANGRY STRAIGHT CIS WHITE WOMAN 